Goodbye Mirage ...Hello Reality...

It was time to leave the Neon City … sadly, departure day had come round all too soon.

One final milk jug raid, a quick call to E to synchronise meeting, and then I hurled my things into my case. We still had one final treat to look forward to – Sunday morning Champagne Brunch at The Wynn with the Bellagio 4.

But first I had to check out. …

‘What argument do you think I am going to have?’ I said to E as we headed round to the Mirage check out desk. ‘Charging me for putting milk in the fridge? ’ (I had been very nervous about using it due to the ultra sensitive sensors …)
‘Or forgetting the $75 credit they promised me after messing me about at check in?’

'Whatever it is – it’ll be something you won’t be expecting’ said E – and he was right.

Now this is where I need to canvas a bit of opinion. It could be that I am at fault here.

You will remember my homeless state at the start when I didn’t have a room to call my own for 24 hours? Well, I had made full use of the offered $75 ‘inconvenience’ money in food and drink, and reckoned I had come in just under budget.

‘Just 21 dollars to pay’ said the girl behind the desk.

I looked quizzically at the bill….

‘For tips’ she added….

’Oh? What tips? ‘ I asked politely

‘You haven’t left any tips in the restaurants’ she said with a faint look of distaste on her face as if I was the meanest guest in the hotel.

‘But I have!’ I protested.

‘No you haven’t’ she said, tapping slightly impatiently on my signed receipts with a manicured nail.

Indeed - the boxes where I could have added my tips were empty. …Deliberately so.
This had been ringed with an accusing biro.

So I explained.

E and I had resolved to always leave our tips in cash when we ate at The Mirage in the hope that the person who was looking after us would actually get the money.
Or at least share it in the right pockets.
And we'd tipped well too.

But as far as my check out girl was concerned I was the skinflint who had grabbed their $75 and had had the audacity not to tip…

I could tell by her look that she didn’t believe me.

‘Well you’ll have to pay it – it’s on your account’ - she said defiantly.

‘So let me get this right‘ I said in my 'lets-spell-this-out-so-we-all-understand-it' voice

‘You want me to pay double for tips. Even though I have already left tips in your restaurants ’….

She looked at me. I looked at her.

I, for one, was not going to budge.

Suddenly, she grabbed my receipts and bill and disappeared.

‘Remember – said E ‘it’s a Mirage ‘…’you think you’ve paid your tips …but they just can’t see them….’

The girl re-appeared after a summit meeting in a back room.

‘Alright‘ she said, ‘You’ll have to fill this in and sign it‘ thrusting a densely typed document at me.
The document was a disclaimer – asking for my name, address, rank and number (or so it seemed.)

I had to sign that I was refusing to pay the tips.

This really was, dear friends, the last straw.
So I scrawled on it in big angry letters: ‘Tips already left! In cash!!’

She snatched it back off me and moved on to someone else.

I was dismissed.

Goodbye Mirage – and thanks.

I grabbed my ‘cancelled’ bill. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see ‘undesirable’ stamped on it.
‘C’mon’ I said to E –‘let’s get outta here’

I’d had enough of The Mirage. To last a lifetime.

Now I am prepared to concede that once again I must‘ve bucked the system. If we got the whole tips scenario horribly wrong – please let me know. But it’s quite normal to split the tip from the rest of the bill in the UK and leave it in cash. So I didn’t realise I was doing anything wrong.

But I could have done without being made to feel the biggest Scrooge in town. Or that I was scamming The Mirage.

It was just one more incident in a week of incidents that had started at Check in.

Perhaps the Vegas Gods were testing me…Perhaps the whole experience really had been a Mirage ….anyway, we dumped our cases at the bell desk and beat a hasty retreat to an altogether more pleasant reality.

The Wynn

Sandy, Adam and the Sarahs were already in the queue for the buffet and soon we had a nice big table. The champagne appeared almost immediately and I knocked it back. I needed it after The Mirage.

Our eyes were bigger than our stomachs at the sight of the buffet counters and the amazing variety of choice. With the thought of airline food to come, I made a complete pig of myself. We all did.

I had a bit of every breakfasty thing going and then decided to add a touch of lunch aswell, tucking into the most succulent, tasty, yummy slice of roast beef I swear I have ever tasted.
Then ...I started on dessert.

I am not normally a big eater! Honestly! But everything I put in my mouth tasted so wonderful that I just carried on and until I was stuffed. It was a great Vegas last meal.

The Wynn Champagne Brunch is a little more pricey than others – ( around $34 if memory serves) – but we all thought it was terrific. Plenty of choice, and all of it delicious.

Over brunch we re-lived Sandy’s Big Win, and browbeat E again for missing out on The Barry Experience. Barry hadn’t just been a one night stand…this was undying love and we were his newest devotees.

‘Perhaps we should start a cult‘ said Adam…
'We could call it Barryology….’

Once we’d all had our fill, we strolled around the Wynn and soaked up the atmosphere.

I silently offered up a prayer to St Steve of Vegas:
'Please let my bank balance stretch to this one day!'

Too soon it was time for E and I to go.
The Bellagio 4 accompanied us back to The Mirage and we said our goodbyes. We knew we’d all see each other in London –but meeting in Vegas had been special and we were bound together by the whole Big Win, Big Elvis, Big Barry, Big Fun of it all.
The airport shuttle in front of The Mirage was about to leave so E and I hopped on.

McCarran
Domestic Terminal.
Ah.
(OK. Some you lose...)

Carted our stuff on the long trek round to the International Terminal in the blazing heat, where once again we had the ‘Are we going to upgrade to an exit seat for more legroom' ‘discussion’.
(Readers of my last TR will recall we had a bit of a ‘domestic’ about this last year!)

As you know, E’s now a Vegas winner. Having won enough to pay for a big chunk of his holiday.

So ……….
Ofcourse he wasn’t going to upgrade! Old habits die hard. And that money was staying firmly in his wallet.

I had pre-booked us 2 seats in a row of 3 and the check in guy reckoned I might be lucky and we’d end up with an empty seat. It was my last Vegas gamble. Upgrade myself and move?
Or gamble on the space of the 3rd seat.

Well, I’m happy to say we got lucky. It seemed like my last piece of Vegas luck.

As the plane climbed into the clouds I looked back…..
.....Vegas in miniature …nestling in the desert like a precious jewel ...slipping away behind us …
…...the burnt shades of the desert glowing in the late afternoon sun……
Fragments of moments rewound themselves in my head ….and somewhere in the darkest corner of my brain ….a distant echo of a scream……….

‘It’s Vegas babyyyyyyyyyyyy………..’

And once again

I knew

We’d be back………..